One of about 1,000 good things about the Lieutenant-Governor’s Winter Festival: If you don’t know much about a particular culture or country, just pop in to the pavilion this weekend and your education will have begun.

So, let’s hop on the virtual free bus from pavilion to pavilion, which leaves every half hour (12 pavilions, bus goes every half-hour . . . that’s five and a half hours of fun) and see what we can find out.

Chinese Pavilion — The Town Centre. Much of what I know about the Chinese culture is what I’ve learned from eating Chinese food (you’re hungry one hour after eating a Chinese feast is not true) and having coffee for 20 years at a Chinese café in Moosomin, Sask., where proprietors Wing and Lee Yuen taught all the regulars the numerical symbols in Chinese from one to 10 (since forgotten).

Colombian Pavilion — Wheat City Golf Course. I am totally ignorant about Colombia, except for the many references in the news over the years about the ‘Colombian drug lords.’ The assumption here is that the closest thing to a drug at the Colombian pavilion this weekend will be an alcoholic beverage of some sort.

Salvadorian Pavilion — Bethel Christian Assembly. There must be a nice picture of the capital city of San Salvador somewhere on the premises. Maybe pictures painted by Salvador Dali. Or an autographed picture of Brandonite Bryce Salvador of the New Jersey Devils. We’ll see.

English Pavilion — ANAF Hall. If we can’t have a darts game, a pint of a dark ale and some bangers and mash, what’s the point of going? Other than to get into a friendly argument with an Englishman about the merits of American football and that so-called ‘football’ they play across the pond.

Ethiopian Pavilion — Central United Church. Thanks to a short discussion I had with Soloman Girmau, one of the organizers of the Ethiopians’ first venture into the Winter Festival, I have learned that there will be no alcohol, but there will be some delicious Ethiopian food and some special coffees that are unique to Ethiopia. Another guarantee: Many, many, many smiling faces from the host committee.

First Nations Pavilion — 205 College Avenue. There will be colourful costumes, lots of dancing and historical artifacts and the pride on the faces of our First Nations friends will be evident.

French Canadian Pavilion — Keystone Centre Exhibition Hall. Because Manitoba has the second- or third-highest population of French-speaking people in Canada, and because we’ll be at the French Canadian pavilion, we’ll all be speaking French, right? Not much, other than the odd ‘Merci, beaucoup’ when we are handed a cold Molson Canadian.

Irish Pavilion — Royal Oak Inn. We’re going to be in a real stew if we don’t make it to party with the Irish, who drink green beer and party like it’s March 17 every day. Guaranteed: A button on somebody’s lapel saying, “Kiss me, I’m Irish.”

Metis Pavilion — One of the greatest Canadians of all time (if you don’t agree, tell someone who cares) was Louis Riel and when we celebrate our day off from work in mid-February, we can have him to thank. Methinks the Metis Pavilion will have an image of Riel somewhere on the premises.

Mexican Pavilion — Crystal Hotel. If you’ve ever been to Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, Cancun or the Mayan Riviera, you know how the Mexicans like to party, and then relax as if they have not a care in the world. And isn’t it funny that most Canadians can order a beer in Spanish easier than they can in French, one of our official languages?

Scottish Pavilion — Victoria Inn. Now that I know how haggis is made (see story elsewhere in this issue), I may or may not partake. It all depends on how many scotch whiskeys I consume in advance of my decision.

Ukrainian Pavilion — Ukrainian Reading Hall. Ah, perogies, cabbage rolls, sausage, pampushky. Need we say more? How do my Ukrainian friends stay so thin?