If you don’t have Olympic fever, then it’s time to hand in your citizenship papers.

The world — particularly the British press, those scoundrels! — might be watching and giving Canada the odd dig here and there for its lousy weather, its death-trap of a luge run and its Own the Podium program, but Canadians seem to be lapping up every morsel of a two-week event that will go down in my books, anyway, as unforgettable.

So here we go on an Olympic journey of our own, hopping here, skipping there, sliding downhill and going for gold.

• Minnedosa’s Kyle Parrott didn’t threaten the podium in his first two events, finishing 21st in the 500 metres and 24th in the 1,000, but the difference between No. 1 and No. 21 is a little more than a couple of blinks of an eye. The ice problems at the speedskating venue, where the ‘this-is-not-a-Zamboni’ piece of equipment dumped pools of hot water all over the ice surface during the midpoint of the competition, probably didn’t help during the 500 metres. While Parrott faced the same delay as the other competitors, upsetting developments like that might affect some athletes in ways that others — such as those with Olympic experience on their resume — might not be bothered.

• There’s no way to sugarcoat the death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili, 21, who was killed in a training run on the day the Olympics opened, casting a pall over the Vancouver celebrations. Unfortunately, Kumaritashvili’s death will be the one significant recollection of the Vancouver Games to millions of people around the world after the final anthem has been sung and the athletes and fans have returned from whence they came.

• A CBC radio announcer said last week that the Norwegian curlers’ “clown pants” might be this year’s equivalent of Calgary’s Eddie the Eagle. In other words, goofy. I keep expecting a Volkswagen to show up at rinkside of the curling venue and have them all pile in, along with all their equipment, coaching staff and a half-dozen fans with floppy shoes and big noses.

• Speaking of the curling venue, it’s great to see such a different crowd — youthful, full of exuberance (and probably a lot of beer) and noisy, even when the curlers are trying to concentrate on a difficult shot — compared to most Briers, Scotties and world championships, where the average fan is . . . well, retired and reserved.

• Canada’s hopes for two golds in hockey and curling got off to great starts when Jarome Iginla scored three goals (they later said he scored only two) in an 8-0 win over Norway, allaying any fears of a repeat of Turin, Italy in 2006, when the Canadians had difficulty scoring goals; and when Kevin Martin pulled another rabbit out of the hat with a shot with an extreme degree of difficulty (merely a long angle-raise takeout for a count of three) that he made with about the same amount of difficulty and casualness that I exhibit in taking out the garbage every week.

• The TV coverage has been great, with channel surfing from CTV to TSN to Sportsnet and occasionally NBC having every viewer always up to date. Then there’s the commercials, which makes the coverage possible. The RBC bits are cute, but my winner so far is the Tim Hortons spot in which the African immigrant man buys winter coats for his family and greets them at the airport, giving his kids a big hug and his wife a big kiss and then saying “Welcome to Canada” as he hands her a cup of coffee. Give that one a double double gold medal.