The school year presents an opportunity for a fresh start, however, in many households' anxiety, stress and even sadness reign. Parents need to bribe their children with the coolest back packs and the most expensive name brand clothes to try and take the sting out of returning to school.
The problem with school, any level from pre-school to college, is labelling. Children wear their label as badges of honour or shame. Early in their education children are labelled as Geek, Jock, AD/HD, Obese, etc.
Once a child is labelled, expectations seem to fall in line with that label. Ironically in spite of the labels, parents harbour unrealistic expectations and become disappointed. The children absorb that disappointment and live down to the lesser image. This disappointment can manifest into stomach-aches, headaches, insomnia and more frequent colds.
Parents need to create a home environment conducive to empowerment and the philosophy of the little engine that could. Parents need to choose to see their children in a positive light. We need to stop anticipating their worst, and visualize their best. They will respond by being happier, healthier and the best that they can be.
Here are some suggestions to take the stress out of school as you help your children build up self-esteem:
Start now to get those late summer bedtimes in line with early school mornings. Children need to get their sleep. Begin to taper down about a half hour each day to reach a reasonable bedtime. The key to good sleep is regularity. Establish a bedtime ritual such as: a healthy snack, a story, a bath, or a discussion of the day's events.
Prepare tomorrow's clothes the evening before. This time saver will reduce morning stress.
Make sure your children eat a healthy, balanced breakfast.
Make sure your child does some exercise daily even for 15-20 minutes. The benefits include: shedding stress, feeling happier and having more focus for homework.
Don't over-schedule your children with extracurricular activities. This stresses you out as you rush to drive them from activity to activity and they feel overwhelmed without any quiet, free time.
Respect your children and avoid confrontation. Communicate calmly and specifically what you would like them to do.
If there are special learning problems or social issues, visit the school to speak to teachers, guidance counsellors and the principal. Be your child's advocate and let him or her know that you are. Be involved and visit periodically.
If you cannot greet your kids when they come home from school because you are at work, remember to call them. Children love to talk on the phone and you can connect with them.
Eat dinner with your children to bond with them and share each other's day.
There are many simple things that can prevent back to school stress in a child. The most important way to handle the stress a child may feel is to pay attention and to consistently love your child unconditionally. Elaine Ellis is the Child & Youth Counsellor at the Shilo MFRC.